Expectations

It's only too perfectly "Murphy's Law"-ish for me to have to say that we are no longer expecting. I don't actually know who got a chance to see the last blog post so I figured it was best to get the word out now.

Nothing about this experience was fun but I can already see miracles following us down the path.

- Our girls were CALM and HAPPY the entire 5+ hours I was in the emergency room. What kids ever do that, right?
- I didn't actually pass out when my IV broke and blood started to spurt out of my arm (this part was actually really funny until I started going into shock...maybe I'll tell more of this particular story later).
- I had kind nurses and doctors.
- I have a wonderful husband who is just as devastated as I am.
- The outpouring of love and support is truly filling us.
- The Atonement of Christ has been lifting our burdens. I have no doubt of that.

In other words, it's okay.

I half wish that our kids hadn't found out so early because if they hadn't, then other people wouldn't have. But it kind of went like this:

"Mom, why did the doctor have you pee in a cup? Is he looking at it? That's gross. Why is he looking at your pee? Do I have to watch you pee in a cup again? Can I hold it?"

And of course all the nurses and the doctor had to tell me over and over that I was definitely going to have a baby, all in front of the girls. Naturally, as soon as we were back to the apartment Lily was yelling to all of the neighbors that "Mommy has a baby growing inside of her!" My neighbors even found out before Richard did.

That's why everyone found out before we were out of the "miscarriage danger zone." I usually keep these sorts of things to myself, but three year olds don't keep secrets. :0) And that's okay. I loved the way the girls talked about having a new baby. It was the #1 conversation around our house. Lily came up with all sorts of names and Ruth and Lily both had to become little mothers and do all sorts of horrific things to their dolls.

Me: "What on earth is happening to your baby?"
Lil: "Oh, it's pooping."
Ruth: "I need to throw her."

I became the baby doll babysitter. Whenever the girls didn't want to be moms anymore they just flung the babies at my head.

And I loved every second of it. They understand (well, at least Lily does) and they keep telling us that it's fine because we'll "have another baby" (Lil says) and "Mommy's hospital is going away" (Ruth).

They've given us lots and lots of snuggles. I'm glad they've helped us through this and I'm glad they knew about it from the beginning.

So yeah, it's okay. Thank you all for your love and support. We can feel the hugs, even from 2000 miles away. :0)